Miles Associates LLC

These are hilarious.  I thought the best (quoted here) were from Windows.

Euphemism #3
Error message: “Windows has encountered an error and must shut down.”
Translation: Now you’ve done it.

Euphemism #4
Blue Screen of Death (BSoD) message: “Check for viruses on your computer. Remove any newly installed hard drives or hard drive controllers. Check your hard drive to make sure it is properly configured and terminated. Run CHKDSK /F to check for hard drive corruption, and then restart you computer.”
Translation: Oh sh*t.

Euphemism #5
Error message [Windows XP]: “Error copying File or Folder: A system call that should never fail has failed (While copying a file to the desktop).”
Translation: Sometimes the instability of this OS surprises even us.

Euphemism #6
Warning message: “Buffering video stream.”
Translation: Upgrade your slow DSL line, buddy.

Euphemism #8
Error message: “Non-System disk or disk error.”
Translation: If you don’t have a backup, put your head between your legs and kiss your data goodbye.

Euphemism #9
Error message: “Microsoft (MSFT) Word has stopped working.”
Translation: You have stopped working.

via Tech Euphemisms: What Those Error Messages Really Mean.

Teen Thief Caught After Accidentally Dialing 911, From His Pocket. (@sherryheyl tweeted this)